Ever After

Okay so this is a super delayed acknowledgement of mine and Michael’s first anniversary, but I figured better late than never! (Why do I feel like I've probably started every single blog post with this phrase lol) My parents were actually visiting over our anniversary anyway, so we decided to postpone it. Still, I figured we’ve had some noteworthy experiences/realizations in our first year of marriage that I thought I should reflect over.

First off, I found some fun first anniversary questions to ask and thought it would be kinda cool to both answer them…here are our responses:

What has brought you closer this year?

•  Michael: Starting in a new place with nobody but each other gave us a lot of time to rely on each other, and gave us many opportunities to be a rock for the other
• Holly: Being so far from all of our family and friends and having to depend almost solely on each other

What is your favorite memory from this year?

•   Michael: The cumulative time of having Gizmo. He’s become the third part of our little family, and we have a great time enjoying each others company with the addition of the little fuzzball, and all the laughing and fun that comes from it is probably my favorite part of this first year.
• Holly: The camping trip Michael surprised me with for my birthday. It was perfect! He thought of absolutely every detail, down to what my favorite DVDs are so we could watch them on his laptop, along with my favorite junk foods to snack on

Did you have a wedding or honeymoon disaster that you are already laughing about now?

• Michael: Nope; everything pretty much worked out perfectly. We still talk about the honeymoon and wedding all the time, amazed that everything worked out as good as it did.
• Holly:  not at all. The week was the most perfect of my entire life (by far!). From the week before the wedding until the day we arrived back home from our honeymoon, life was absolute bliss. The only thing I would change is that I didn’t have pinterest to help me plan small details of  the wedding lol

What has surprised you most about being married?

• Michael: The changes in mood that accompany living with another person and sharing all the details with them. It’s one thing to live with a roommate with known boundaries and expectations, but it’s another thing to live with a person that you share most everything with, and it takes a lot of work and understanding to grasp the intricacies in how to talk to them when they’re having a bad day, or how to not be a pill when you’re having one
• Holly: The amount of work that goes into making every day successful for us as a team. While you’re dating, it’s easy to see each other a few hours a day and be on your best behavior/mood. It’s a lot more difficult to constantly try to maintain your best self around the clock. Though I don’t always succeed in meeting all of Michael’s needs, I have an entire lifetime to get it down

Anything shocking that you've learned about your spouse?

• Michael: Hmmm….No, not that I can think of. Wait…scratch that….she has a messy car. I’ll leave it at that to avoid her the embarrassment of describing it
• Holly: he hides junk food. Yes, he I mean I literally found it stashed in his dresser drawer HAHAHA! He likes to insist that I don’t buy anything unhealthy and then when he gets cravings, he apparently just buys it and doesn’t bother sharing? Lol I had to set him straight on this one- if he’s gonna eat it anyway, at least let me in on it! hehe

What is a bonus quality that you received in your spouse that you didn't know about until marriage?

• Michael: She’s a fantastic cook. I didn’t think she wasn’t before, I’d just never really had day after day of eating meals that she’s made, and after having done it, she’s great!
• Holly: I knew he was supportive, but I didn’t realize just how supportive he is. He comforts me when I’m homesick, sings/plays guitar for me when I’m upset, and encourages me when I’m down. I’m so lucky!

If you could do anything different, what would you do?

• Michael: I would stop and think before I spoke more often, and determine whether or not something I’m thinking is worth saying, and if something that’s bothering me is worth making an issue about.
• Holly: Let the small things go and don't be prideful. We could avoid a lot of disagreements if we would just ignore the trivial things. There are actually very few things that we’ve argued over that actually matter.

What have you learned from your spouse this year?

• Michael: That I should take more time to appreciate the outdoors and the simple joys that don’t take a huge amount of work. It got easy after all the studying to want to come home and just sit down and watch tv till I go to bed, but going fishing and seeing fireworks has been a lot of fun, and I wouldn’t have thought it would be so relaxing.
• Holly: I ’ve learned more than I’ve ever cared to know about Ron Paul. Haha, okay, seriously now… he’s taught me to believe in myself. It’s nice to know someone other than my parents sincerely believe I can do anything I set my mind to

How have your feelings changed in just one year?

• Michael: I’ve come to rely on Holly a lot more than I ever did before. We’ve been together for a long time, but this was the first time we’ve gone to a place where it was just me and her, and I find myself counting on her for things more and more as time goes on.
• Holly:  I love him even more than I did on the day I married him. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true.  As difficult as marriage can be at times, it’s so worth it! Every disagreement, reconciliation, adventure, holiday, sweet gesture, song sung, tradition created, or moment together, makes me love him even more

What is something that has worked and really made a difference in your marriage that you would give as advice to others to be successful?

• Michael: A mutual interest can really bring the two of you together. I can’t count the number of times that just hanging out with Gizmo has left us laughing all over the place, or finding a show we both like, things like that
• Holly: find a hobby to take part in together. Michael and I bought gear for camping, fishing, and biking, and it has been a blast! After you buy the actual equipment necessary, it’s a free date and it’s always a lot of fun! We also like to work out together or take Gizmo on walks. That pup has made us feel even more like a family- we both love getting to pretend to be “parents” and love something that depends so much on us. 

 

For the record, I just have to say: There IS a legitimate reason that my car is so messy! Any person with a career that requires tons and tons of paperwork and filing will have a car that looks like this lol.

Moving on…to celebrate, Michael bought me fishing poles and equipment, and we went on a fishing trip. We go fishing at least once a weekend and it’s been a ton of fun! For Michael’s gift, I bought him a Sodastream, so he could make his own cokes and carbonated drinks. As a health major, I can get really crazy about consuming junk, so I tend to get on to Michael pretty often for drinking too many sodas. After a year of refusing to buy much coke, I thought this would be the perfect way to let him indulge. He’s loved it so far! I also made him a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake and got us tickets to Adventureland, the local amusement park here. 

We had such a fun time! The actual park itself is pretty lame- it only has one upside down roller coaster (which is sadly supposed to be the only one in Iowa!), but we enjoyed our time anyway. There are so few people here that the park was fairly empty and we could ride a ride multiple times without having to get off. Nothing like Fiesta Texas! It’s actually amazingly uniting to make fun of Iowa together! It makes us appreciate where we come from, plus it always reminds us that we’re from the same background.

After Adventureland, we watched the DVD of our wedding day, watched the slideshow that my dad had made for the wedding reception, and went through all the marriage advice and sweet notes we got at my bridal and lingerie showers. Once more we were reminded how we felt on that perfect day; like the whole world existed just so we could be together. 

At times, life gets in the way of showing each other how we feel. I don’t always meet Michael’s needs and he doesn’t always meet mine. Michael will be stubborn, and I’ll be extra sensitive, and inevitably, we’ll argue. Still, we’ll love each other to no end, as my happily ever after unfolds.